Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What's Your Derby Name?

On Saturday I finally got to do something I've been meaning to do for years: attend a live roller derby bout at The Doll Factory. If you've seen Whip It (starring Ellen Page and directed by Drew Barrymore) you know what I'm talkin' about. Roller Derby is an all-women sport using old-fashioned (four-wheel, '70s style) skates and a banked track, and these chicks are fast and furious. It was so much fun seeing the sold-out crowd cheer on the Tough Cookies (one of L.A.'s teams) vs. The Swarm, who came up from San Diego with a fierce cadre of fans (I know because my friend and I inadvertently sat in their section. They were LOUD AND PROUD).

The announcers were hilarious, the refs were cute, the DJs were great and there was even a live band during half-time. Tough Cookies were last year's champs, and The Swarm were undefeated this year, so the bout was really close and I got hoarse screaming for my team. Best of all -- well, second best to the athletes -- were the names they'd chosen for themselves, names like "Slamurai," "Gori Spelling" (with jersey number 90210, natch), "Trish the Dish," "Laguna Beyatch," "Sarkastika," "Iron Maiven," "Bo Toxic," "Krissy Krash" etc.

We spent a lot of time coming up with new names. Here are some of our favorites:

Olivia Nuke 'Em John
Tawdry Hepburn (good one, Nick)
Kelly KaPOWski
Ann E. Maul (courtesy of the awesome Rochelle)


  1. That sounds AWESOME! I haven't seen Whip It yet but I want to. Those names are classy. I especially like Olivia Nuke 'Em John--too funny.

  2. OMG those are amazing. I've decided I would either be Whorecrux or Bitch to Terebithia.